My theory on the Ode to BJ

Feb 19, '08 9:04 AM for everyone

When Billie Joe was still quite young and growing up in Mississippi, he was married to a widow.
This widow had a grown-up daughter.
Billie Joe’s father fell in love with her, and soon they, too, were wed.

This made Billie Joe’s dad his son-in-law because he was married to Billie Jo’s daughter.
His daughter was his mother, because she was his father's wife.
To complicate the matter,
he soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy whose name was Taylor, but was called “Bro” as was the fashion in Miss in those days.

His little baby then became a brother-in-law to his Dad,
And so became Billie Jo’s uncle,
and if he was his uncle, then that also made him brother
of the widow's grown daughter, who, of course, was Billie Jo’s stepmother.

Billie Jo’s father's wife then had a son
And he became Billie Jo’s grandchild, because he was his daughter's son.
Billie Jo’s wife is now his mother's mother, and although she is his wife, she's his grandmother, too.

Now if his wife is his grandmother, then he is her grandchild,
As husband of his grandmother, Billie Jo is his own grandpa!

When Bro Taylor first revealed this news, Billie Joe disappeared for some time to mull it over.

He ended up in Callahan’s Bar and discussed it with Jake and the others.

They were quite pleased and one by one toed the line, made a toast and tossed their glasses into the fireplace.

Billie Jo went back to Choctaw Ridge and discovered he had one of Callahan’s shot glasses in his pocket.

Carroll County was dry and he was afraid of what would happen if he were seen with it, so lacking a proper fireplace, he stepped up to the Tallahatchie Bridge … made a toast and tossed the glass into the river.

Later on, he discovered he still had the shot glass but his pocket watch was missing, so he jumped off the bridge shouting “tempus fugit” to try to find his watch.

A witness to this misunderstood what he had shouted, and thinking he had said, “Semper Fi” enlisted him in the Marine Corps and he was promptly sent to Viet Nam.

The standard of living was so much better there than what it had been in Mississippi, he stayed there.

He operates a bar now in Ho Chi Minh City where the patrons are all of varying nationalities.

He has built a replica of the Tallahatchie Bridge just outside the bar and the patrons have been known to have a drink or two and then dispose of something off the Tallahatchie Bridge.