The Conservative Rules Of Acquisition 1-50

1. Once you have their money, never give it back

2. You can't cheat an honest politician, but it never hurts to try

3. Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to

4. Sex and profit are the two things that never last long enough

5. If you can't break a contract, bend it

6. Never let family stand in the way of opportunity

7. Always keep you ears open

8. Keep count of your change

9. Instinct plus opportunity equals profit

10. A dead customer can't buy as much as a live one

11. Gold isn't the only thing that shines

12. Anything worth selling is worth selling twice

13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money

14. Anything stolen is pure profit

15. Acting stupid is often smart

16. A deal is a deal ... until a better one comes along

17. A bargain usually isn't

18. A Conservative without profit is no Conservative at all

19. Don't lie too soon after a promotion

20. When the lobbyist is sweating, turn up the heat

21. Never place friend ship before profit

22. Wise men can smell profit in the wind

23. Never take the last coin, but be sure to get the rest

24. Never ask when you can take

25. Fear makes a good business partner

26. The vast majority of the rich in this country did not inherit their wealth; they stole it

27. The most beautiful thing about a tree is what you do with it after you cut it down

28. Morality is always defined by those in power

29. When someone says "It's not the money," they're lying

30. Talk is cheap; alcohol costs money

31. Never make fun of a Conservative's mother

32. Be careful what you sell. It may do exactly what the lobbyist expects

33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss

34. War is good for business

35. Peace is good for business

36. Too many Conservatives can't laugh at themselves anymore

37. You can always buy back a lost reputation

38. Free advertising is cheap

39. Praise is cheap. Heap it generously on all constituents

40. If you see profit on a journey, take it

41. Money talks, but having a lots of it gets more attention

42. Only negotiate when you are certain to profit

43. Caressing an ego is often more forceful than pointing a weapon

44. Never argue with a loaded gun

45. Profit has limits. Loss has none

46. Prisons are full of people who trusted the wrong person

47. Never trust a man wearing a better suit than you own

48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife

49. Old age and greed will always overcome youth and talent

50. Never bluff a Republican

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Photos of Finnian and Family

    

Britt-Marie, Shane & Finnian Dec 2013

               Finnian January 2014

                                                 Finnian March 2014 Baton Rouge

                                                           Finnian St. Patrick's Day 2014

                                                         Finnian Fall of 2013

                                                            Finnian Easter 2014

 

 

Easter Ham 2014

 

                                                           March 2014  Baton Rouge

                                                        April 2014

                                                           Easter April 2014

                                                                                January2014

                                                     St. Pat's Day 2014

                                                          En route to Baton Rouge
                                                                  March 2014

                                                          

                                                        Finnian in Coquette Pâtisserie
                                                                     April 2014

                                     Shane & Dad 2 hrs old Oct 1980  Shane & Grandfather

                                            Shane in his BIG BED           Shane all dressed up
                                                         

                                                                  Finnian's Grandfather
                                                                (in red, with whiskers) 
                                                                 Finnian's Dad 1984 or 1985

             Finnian's Grandfather

              with friend in Haswaii

              September 2013

                                                    Finnian's Dad and Great-grandmother
                                                                    Marge Culey 1981

                                           


             Finnian's Great Grandfather, Giles I. Culey
                (on left) and grandfather, Tim D. Culey
                         July 1967 Clark, S Dak.

                            


                                                 Finnian's Dad (on bottom)
                                                           ( probably 2002

                                                   Flinnian's Grandfather Cayman Islands December 2013

                                                  
                                                                Finnian's Grandfathe (L),
                                                                          Father (C)
                                                                  Great Grandfather (R)
                                                                      Summer of 1981

 

                                                         Dennis Culey (Fin's great, great grandfather)
                                                         Fox Lake, Wisc.

                
                                                      Catherine Elizabeth Burns Culey 
                                                     Wife of Dennis Culey

Comments, correcttions, kudos or brickbats:

TDCuley@Yahoo.com.

Honesty Creative Challenge #289

After 91 years the elderly gentleman was on his death bed. His wife of 70 years was holding his hand. Finally she blurts out, “Henry, I have to tell you this to ease my conscience. It was during the Great War in 1943, you were away and I was lonely. I was weak and had an affair, twice…”

The old man said “OH! I don’t blame you and I forgive you.”

He let out a long breath and never took another.

As she reached over to close his eyes she said “…once with the baseball team and once with the football team.”


Tim D. Culey
03-01-14

Void

Many years ago I was saddled with the grocery shopping and my list included "Tampax." I was fairly sure what they were but wasn't sure if that was a generic name for the product or a brand name and/or if it made any difference.

 

Having experienced the wrath of one who shouts, “THAT is not what I wanted” and being unable to locate said items and NOT wanting to go home without them, I asked the clerk at the checkout counter where I might find them.

 

Much to my astonishment, she gets on the speaker system and says, “Billy, bring a box of Tampax to check out #4.” If that wasn’t bad enough, “Billy” gets on the speaker system and says, “Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb or drive in with a hammer?”

 

 The temperature in the store now has dropped to absolute zero  usually found only in the void of space where all motion ceases.  Everyone in the store apparently is waiting for her response.

 

When one was not forthcoming, “Billy” gets on the speakers again with, “You DID say thumb tacks, right?”

 

 

It’s been 35 years now … “Billy” is probably a grandfather, but I’m not willing to take that chance.

Waiting

We spend our entire lives waiting

We wait for somebody to notice our diaper needs replacing

We wait for someone to come give us a bust in the mouth

We wait until nobody is looking to give asparagus to the dog

We wait for our teachers to realize we are geniuses

We wait forever for that important and special first date

We wait forever for her to finally be ready

We wait and sweat in agony sitting with her parents

We wait until the day we finally  get that driver’s license

We wait with hand out for our very first paycheck

We wait until all our bills are paid before we can spend it

We wait until the perfect companion comes along

We wait on bended knee for her to say “Yes!”

We wait and pace and worry in the maternity ward

We wait until we finally hold the perfect child in our arms

We wait and pace and worry when the child is out past curfew

We wait and worry that we will never be grandparents

We wait on the grandkids hand and foot and love every minute

We wait for visits that seem so rare and so short

We wait for them to find time to see us again

We wait in agony to join a spouse who has gone on ahead

We wait and weep and stare into the darkness

We wait to die.


Tim D. Culey © 2014

Imagine

 

Imagine there is a place where children play

Where they can laugh and giggle the whole day

Imagine that they can feel safe and sound

Knowing that those that care are all around

 

Imagine when the weather turns freezing cold

There will be a warm blanket into which you can fold

If you feel cranky, there is always somebody to hug

Before you know it you will sleeping like a bug in rug.

 

Imagine a fellow with grey whiskers and hair

Who wants to be with you forever there

It’s a long way to Cleveland from Louisiana

But he will travel forever. He is your Grandpa.

 

 

 

      FINNIAN CULEY JAN 2014 7 Mos.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ode to Joy

JOY CC#1-2014

Writing for this topic I could probably ramble on for days, but instead I step aside and ask that you give your undivided attention to the man who not only penned the ultimate definition of Joy, but put it to music as well.

Mocha

Black and White



Angelina has the complexion of mocha
Her hair has the aroma of jasmine
Her skin is as smooth as fresh tapioca
My soul is afire when her lips touch mine.

Like our hero Dr. King, we both have a dream
We laugh and we play we have nothing to hide
This will go on forever or so it would seem.
On the carousel of ecstasy we continue to ride.

Then one day the nightmare sneaks in
Unspeakable horror engulf us in pain
Someone has defaced that beautiful skin
Some things just won’t ever be the same.

Never before have I encountered such hate
I hunt the man down with my very last breath
We are girded for battle on that perilous date
Using my bare hands, I put him to death.

I spent weeks in intense hospitalization
But my emotional injures reach to my core
After a while I came to the realization
His stay was brief, down in the morgue.

Angelina is gone, I know not where
The “powers that be” say it us better this way
I cry when I think of her bound to a chair
I miss my Angelina. There is nothing more to say.


© Tim D. Culey =2011=


Author’s Note:
This is a true story. It happened in 1970 in Yokosuka, Japan. Angelina was nearly beaten to death by her ex-husband because he didn’t think it was appropriate for her as a black woman to be with a white man.
While I was recovering in the hospital from the fight, the U.S. Military arranged for Angelina to be placed into the military equivalent of the Witness Protection Program. She would need extensive (and expensive) medical care, rehabilitation therapy and cosmetic surgery, none of which was financially possible.

The agreement she entered into was that that they would take care of those expenses for the rest of her life, but she had to start over with a new identity and was forbidden to speak of or communicate with anyone what happened in Yokosuka.

She detailed all this in a “farewell” letter which was given to me after I was released from the hospital. She asked that I forget her and never try to find her. I could do neither. I’ll never forget her but am somewhat certain that I will never find her, even though I tried for over 40 years.

As for me, no charges were ever filed against me. The “Official Report” indicated her late ex husband apparently got drunk and was run over by a bus. An investigation by ONI (Office of Naval Intelligence) revealed that this wasn't the first time he had mutilated a woman with a straight razor and blunt objects of some kind.

I've often thought that the Navy probably didn't want this information made public and were willing to take care of Angelina as a way of compensation for not acting earlier, but I'm probably more generous in that assumptiom than they deserve.

My injuries were reported as to having occurred during an intensive “Top Secret” mission in Viet Nan.

A Christma Wish Liszt

On November 13 they had a concert in Ohio and Holy Toledo, what a concert.

TSO Canon in D Major

This year will mark the sixth time in five years I have seen their Chrstmas show ...

Christmas Dragnet

Green Christmas

Sweet

The joyous holiday season is upon it seems
Everywhere are variations on red and green
Many parts of the world are covered with snow
Just yesterday I thought I heard a “Ho – Ho – Ho!”

The holly is on the ivy and the egg is in the nog
Perhaps before long Ebenezer will post his blog
Think I will pass on the figgy pudding, thanks so much
Warm cider is nice, with some spirits, but just a touch

Sitting before the fire with a bowl of Chex mix
Goes a long way to help me get some Xmas kicks
There is an item I need to make Christmas complete
French by origin, a candy whistle that I call tout suite


© Tim D. Culey 9 Dec 2013

Flowing

The temptation is great, from time to time
To just watch the birds and drink our wine
We snooze in the sun then awake with a jerk
“Oh my God, I'm four hours late for work!
By the time I shower shave and make the commute
It will be time to come back home so what's the use?”
It's easy to make at least one plausible explanation
I have to skip work, I'm part of the “me generation.”
My boss will yell until his face is red and glowing
“At least dead fish move when the river is flowing!”

(c) Tim D. Culey -2013-

Love and Affection OR Education

In a recent discussion on a social media site it was suggested that it was perfectly fine to be ignorant so long as you had lots of love and affection in your life.

I thought about that and decided that, at least in my case, that didn’t hold true. Even though the Beatles said, “All you need is love” I think there is more to life.

Let me give an example of why I feel that way.

I once owned a Soft Tail Deluxe Harley Davidson, and she certainly was not a “Fatboy.”

I loved that bike more than words can express. Every day I would go into my garage and spend quality time with her. I would stroke her and tell her how much I loved her and how beautiful she was and what a fantastic shape she had. I would hug her and shower her with affection.

It began to occur to me that there could be more to our relationship, so I went to the HDTA (Harley Davidson Training Academy) to see if they could educate me into what I might be missing.

We started out slow. The first thing I learned was how to mount her. OMG, I was in heaven.

But little did I know how much more I had to learn.

The instructor said, “The fun won’t begin until you get her started. There are two ways to approach this. If you are into the rough stuff, you can kick her to get her started. If she doesn’t respond to that method, there is a small button hidden away that when you touch it just right is almost always going to get her started."

I’ve always thought of myself as a gentle sort of human being so I opted for the button. I found it, pressed it gently and lo and behold she started to purr! At this point, I am becoming a real fan of education.

My instructor said, “You’ve reached the point now where you are ready to stick her into gear and release the clutch … but do it very slowly, we don’t want her to buck you off.”

So I entered first gear and she went from purring to moaning. We took a short ride and it was like she could read my mind. If I went fast, she did too, if I went slow, she followed along. When I learned into the curves, she curved around me like a vine.

I deciced to move things up a notch to see what I could learn about 2nd gear. The first thing ithat happened is that the moan became a groan and I began the ride of my life.

I finally opened her wide and she gave me everything she had. The groans became screams and it was all I could do to keep up with her and not fall off.

My teachers had cautioned me that this could not go on indefinitely, so I began to throttle back and gear down. I stroked her fine frame and said, “Just relax a while. Now that I have the education to do this properly, there is nothing holding me back.”

There is a lot to be said for love and affection, but from my viewpoint it is amazing how just a small amount of  education  has changed my life forever.

I learned one more valulable lesson that day, no matter how tempting DO NOT put your tongue anwhere near her manifold AFTER you ride her!




(C) Tim D. Culey -2013-

Every Picture Tells a Story .. CC #278

 

Among some artists delineation and representation is their only stance

Some choose drawing, finger painting or even caricature to form a resemblance

It is possible to daub, etch or sketch to reveal your ideas or point of view

Though rare now, montage and ideograph are still popular among a few

 

There is something satisfying for those who chose to dabble in the  hierolglyphic

Creating the perfect collage, or painting a portrait can often be very therapeutic.

Whether an artist selects a silhouette, doodles a cartoon or ends up somatosensory

None of that is critical in the creation  so long as in the end every picture tells a story.

 

© Tim D. Culey -2013-

 

 

THINK

Little Huey was born with multiple problems
The extent of them all were not apparent
One by one his parents worked hard on them
Through it all Huey remained totally silent.

Therapists and specialists became his life
They were in and out on a daily basis
He said not a word, just accepted his strife
He sat mute as they covered all the bases.

Huey grew up and learned how to speak
What he was saying was not always clear
Nobody ever bothered to offer a critique
To the rules of syntax did he rarely adhere.

Huey spent hour upon hour in the gym
He was six-ten and hard as an ice skating rink
Nobody had the audacity to mock him
Even when he said, “Time to warsh up in the think.”

© Tim D. Culey -2013-

Eye to Eye CC #276

The US Navy always employs many to make up a crew

There are Machinists and Radarmen and a cook or two

The Radiomen have the secrets, nobody knows what they do

Never forget the Boatswain mate who can turn the air blue.

 

Some climb the rigging, even in these modern days

Many work below decks and that is where they stay

Others spend time dancing with mops that swing and sway

All dream of shore leave when they can spend their pay

 

There are Ensigns, both men and flags that fly

Each demands a salute any time you pass by

Above them all is the Captain,  he’s the top guy

He gives the orders and goes from “Aye to Aye.”

 

© Tim D. Culey -2013-