Under the tree for shade I will go
I go under the waves to swim
I fall under the spell of cute girls
Under the law we reap what we sew
Under the porch is fun this I know
Discoveries there can be grim
We can scrunch down and roll up in curls
Even in the dark some things still grow
I am taking my girl to a show
The odds of a kiss seem pretty slim
She deserves a necklace made of pearls
I don’t have that much money to blow
Under the tree for shade I will go
I go under the waves to swim
I fall under the spell of cute girls
Under the law we reap what we sew
Tim D. Culey © 2013
My entry this week is a style of poem called La’Tuin, a poetic form which consists of 4-line stanzas with an 'abca, abca' rhyme scheme that is consistent throughout each stanza. The first stanza is repeated at the end of the piece. It contains a minimum of 4 stanzas, with no maximum length limit.
A strict syllable count of 9/8/9/8 is required per stanza.
In-Depth Explanation of rhyme:
Lines 1, 4, 5, 8, 9, 12, 13, 16 etc., all rhyme - this is the 'A' rhyme.
Lines 2, 6, 10, 14 etc, all rhyme - this is the 'B' rhyme.
Lines 3, 7, 11, 15 etc, all rhyme - this is the 'C' rhyme.
The La'Tuin is named after A'Tuin, a giant turtle from the Diskworld series. A turtle is a symbol of Mother Earth
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well done, Tim!
ReplyDeleteNot sure if I like the poetic style though...I guess we all have our favorites. I believe I would struggle with it...as a result it would show
It will probably never replace the sonnet, but it is fun to compose when you have to do the 9/8/9/8 syllables and follow the ryhyming pattern. It requires a little more attentin to detail.
ReplyDeletea fun poem!
ReplyDeletea fun poem indeed!
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ReplyDeleteIt likely won't be in competition for any awards, but I was trying to demonstrate that even a somewhat obscure form of poetry such as this one can be written in a light hearted tone, just to prove it can be done. Once the ice is broken there will be time to go back and write something of a more serious nature.
Interesting write Tim. I appreciated your explanation of the La'Tuin too.
ReplyDeleteExcellent poem.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.whisperingcorridors.com/2013/07/under-bridge-creative-challenge-260.html
Very good, Tim!!
ReplyDeleteI have trouble writing any kind of poetry, let alone a style such as this.
The things you see when you are under the ......
ReplyDeleteI was looking under a speading chesnut tree and you won't believe who I saw standing there!
ReplyDeleteA beautiful worded take on the theme Tim;)
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