No Problem at All

Creative Challenge: Burden


He was born in the waning days of WW II while Hitler’s bombs were still raining down on his home town. When he was old enough, he joined in and became part of a British Invasion bringing his style of music and fashion to the USA.

His mother doted on him as all mothers do, and understood his desperate cries of “We’ve got to get out of this place.”

He expressed a desire to join the Royal Air Corps to become a “Sky Pilot” and when his mother tried to discourage him he said “Don’t bring me down!”

He managed to travel all the way to California and stopped in at “Monterey” proclaiming “It’s my life.”

While in California he met a beautiful flower child named Ci Rider and his heart went “Boom Boom.”

Hardly a day went by when he wouldn’t go see “Ci Rider.” He said, “Baby let me take you home.”

She suggested he should consult with his mother first, which he did and she responded, “Bring her on home to me.”

Ci was a little skeptical of his motives and he told her “Please don’t let me be misunderstood.”

Alas, it was not meant to be, he proclaimed “I’m crying” then left California for Louisiana. Naturally he gravitated toward New Orleans where he stayed for awhile in “The House of the Rising Sun.”

Throughout all his travels and his trials and travails, his poor Mum never gave up on her son. She said on many occasions about her son, “Some think him to be some kind of ‘Animal,’ but Eric has never been a burden.”

A Tale From Camelot

Many legends have been passed down through the centuries. There are tales of daring do and magic and of great epics.

Perhaps the most retold tales involve Camelot, King Arthur, his famous Ronnd Table and the knights who served him.

Undoubtedly the most famous of the knights is Lancelot. While outwardly a model of chivalry, he is an internally torn and ultimately flawed being.
 

Perhaps his most recognizable role is that of paramour to Arthur's queen, Guinevere. Though the Queen's treatment of him at court is aloof and disdainful, according to the tenets of courtly love, their love runs deep and is lasting, though stormy at times.
 

As is the case of modern man, there were even in the days of olde those who were loath to admit they may not be quite as young as they once were and attempted to live a lifestyle perhaps best left to the younger members of society.

 

Lancelot was quite vain about this and rode off on quests long after he should have retired to a comfortable seat before a warm fire entertaining his grandchildren with tales of his exploits as a young man.

 

Unfortunately, the body is not always so forgiving of ancient warriors and Lancelot was no different.

 

After years of eating wild beasts of unknown species, often without benefit of fire to cook it, Lancelot developed what is now commonly known as “Irritable Bowel Syndrome” which not only caused him great discomfort but also an embarrassing amount of flatulence.

 

Years of riding a horse in complete armor and with his trusty broadsword at his waist ultimately led to Lancelot suffering not only from painful arthritis but also a condition known as “Restless Leg Syndrome” characterized by often uncontrollable twitching and involuntary spastic movement of his legs.

 

He frequently had to change positions as he sat trying to relieve the discomfort.

 

Unfortunately, his movement usually precipitated a prolonged period of flatulence.

 

Legend tells us that this explains the tendency of many of those around him to quickly move away when they saw the Knight shift.

(c) Tim D. Culey -2012-

Cruising on the River

 

Welcome once again to Tim in The PM on W-T-I-M FM.

Song writer, legend, singer and one fourth of the Beatles, Paul McCartney happened to be in Little Rock today and we caught up with him on a boat cruising down the beautiful Arkansas River.

He mentioned to me that he had recently visited with an old friend of mine and had some exciting news to tell me.

Tim:     Paul, what a joy to be with you on such a glorious day of sunshine here in Arkansas. I understand you spent some time talking to my “old flame.” Just what is it she wanted you to tell me?

PM:      She loves you

Tim:     WHAT? She told you that?

PM:      Yeah, yeah, yeah

Tim:    You are gong to have to say that one more time.

PM:     She loves you

Tim:    Are you sure that’s what she said?

PM:     Yeah, yeah, yeah

Tim:     I thought that was over years ago

PM:     You think you lost your love,

Tim:     That was such a very long time ago

PM:     Well, I saw her yesterday.

Tim:    I think she has me confused with somebody else

PM:     It's you she's thinking of

Tim:   She asked you to deliver a message?

PM:    She  told me what to say.

Tim:    And what was that?

PM:    She says she loves you

Tim:   Why do I feel this is not good news?

PM:   You know that can't be bad.

Tim:  I still can’t believe it. Are you sure it was me?

PM:   Yes, she loves you

Tim:   I’m not sure how to feel about that.

PM:    You know you should be glad.

Tim:   I’m flattered, but I don’t think I’m worthy of it.

PM:   She said you hurt her so

Tim:   I was very foolish

PM:   She almost lost her mind.

Tim:  Oh my God

PM:  But now she said she knows

Tim:   Knows what?

PM:   You're not the hurting kind.

Tim:  I think “not the marrying kind” was what I said.

PM:   She says she loves you

Tim:  I’m still not sure that is a good thing

PM:    You know that can't be bad.

Tim:  You are 100% convinced this is the case?

PM:   Yes, she loves you

Tim:   So what do I do about it now?

PM:   You know you should be glad. Ooh!

Tim:  Oops, sorry I forgot to tell you about the short in that microphone cord!

        This seems to beg the question of       "What happens next?"


PM:   You know it's up to you
 

Tim:  Do you think I should call her?
 

PM:   I think it's only fair

Tim:  It’s hard for me to admit it when I’m wrong

PM:   Pride can hurt you, too

Tim:   You really nailed that one. What do you suggest?

PM:   Apologize to her

Tim:  Remind me once again as to why I should.

PM:    Because she loves you

Tim:   That seems like a good thing.

PM:    You know you should be glad. Ooh!

Tim:   There goes that pesky cord again, I’m sorry.

Paul, it has been an honor, and I’m going to let you go now before something bad happens with that microphone cord. I don’t think I could live with the fact that I was responsible for Ringo being the last living Beatle. I cherish your advice, and I promise I will take it.

This is Tim Culey aboard the Riverboat Arkansas Queen on the scenic Arkansas river sending it back to our studio in Chenal Valley.

Hallelujah!

Leonard Cohen Sings his own composition

Some think it is a spiritual song, some think it is a love song, some thing it is semi-pornographic.
Listen to the lyrics and let me know what you think.

Sailor’s Life

Line handling

Making fast

Treading carefully on the wet decks

Deafening winds screaming imprecations so violently

Going aloft

Treacherous climb

Holding on

Thirty footers

Hurricane winds

His work needs to be done

The life of a sailor man

Long hours

Low pay

Salt spray

On liberty

Spending money

Has a girl in every port

Always writes to his Momma

Drinking rum

Having fun

Sailor’s Life

© 2012 Tim D. Culey