Monday, September 1, 2014

The Conservative Rules Of Acquisition 1-50





1. Once you have their money, never give it back

2. You can't cheat an honest politician, but it never hurts to try

3. Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to

4. Sex and profit are the two things that never last long enough

5. If you can't break a contract, bend it

6. Never let family stand in the way of opportunity

7. Always keep you ears open

8. Keep count of your change

9. Instinct plus opportunity equals profit

10. A dead customer can't buy as much as a live one

11. Gold isn't the only thing that shines

12. Anything worth selling is worth selling twice

13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money

14. Anything stolen is pure profit

15. Acting stupid is often smart

16. A deal is a deal ... until a better one comes along

17. A bargain usually isn't

18. A Conservative without profit is no Conservative at all

19. Don't lie too soon after a promotion

20. When the lobbyist is sweating, turn up the heat

21. Never place friend ship before profit

22. Wise men can smell profit in the wind

23. Never take the last coin, but be sure to get the rest

24. Never ask when you can take

25. Fear makes a good business partner

26. The vast majority of the rich in this country did not inherit their wealth; they stole it

27. The most beautiful thing about a tree is what you do with it after you cut it down

28. Morality is always defined by those in power

29. When someone says "It's not the money," they're lying

30. Talk is cheap; alcohol costs money

31. Never make fun of a Conservative's mother

32. Be careful what you sell. It may do exactly what the lobbyist expects

33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss

34. War is good for business

35. Peace is good for business

36. Too many Conservatives can't laugh at themselves anymore

37. You can always buy back a lost reputation

38. Free advertising is cheap

39. Praise is cheap. Heap it generously on all constituents

40. If you see profit on a journey, take it

41. Money talks, but having a lots of it gets more attention

42. Only negotiate when you are certain to profit

43. Caressing an ego is often more forceful than pointing a weapon

44. Never argue with a loaded gun

45. Profit has limits. Loss has none

46. Prisons are full of people who trusted the wrong person

47. Never trust a man wearing a better suit than you own

48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife

49. Old age and greed will always overcome youth and talent

50. Never bluff a Republican





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